Hockey - the other girlfriend?

by FrankD on Dec 12, 2008 11:36 AM EST in News Comment 41 comments

There's an interesting post up on Yahoo! today. Actually, it's under the Dear Margo section which, up until seeing it, I honestly can say I had no idea existed. It's apparently one of those "help me with my life because I can't help myself" sort of columns.

But today's installment caught my eye because, well, Jason from BleedingGreenNation sent it to me. But after clicking the link it caught my eye because it's a forlorn tale about a hockey girlfriend whose significant other is obsessed with...the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Read on for more.

I have been dating a guy for two years, and when we met, everything was perfection. We have had ups and downs, of course, but I feel there's one thing that is always putting a strain on our life: My boyfriend is totally obsessed with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Everything he does revolves around them, from the clothes he wears each day (always a Penguins hat and/or shirt) to the car he drives (his license plate boasts the name of his favorite player) to his room, which is covered floor to ceiling with 8 by 10 pictures, jerseys in cases, pucks, sticks, game-used skates and hockey cards. He needs to go to all the home games (42-plus over eight months), and he goes alone because he only has one ticket. His hockey mania takes a huge toll on our relationship because it involves a large chunk of time away from "us." We both work and go to school, so our time is limited, but the Penguin season in the mix makes it much worse. I end up feeling unimportant to him -- almost as if he has a second girlfriend and he's cheating on me with "her." Please help me find a way to make him understand my feelings and to lessen the strain on our relationship.

Signed - Off-season-only girlfriend

Update: Here's the link I stupidly forgot

Admittedly, I had to read into this a bit more to see if there were any subtle hints that would suggest this is my girlfriend writing to Dear Margo. When I read the line about the license plate I knew it wasn't me, since SxMchne is not the name of a hockey player.

The other stuff? Yeah, that might be fairly accurate. But I think it's safe to say the lady friend is supportive of my "other girlfriend" based solely on the fact that she baked a cake in honor of the team. (picture) The Penguins subsequently won the game because of it, or at least I'd like to think so. Also, unlike our hero of the story here, I wouldn't go to a game by myself. That just strikes me as...sad.

In any given season I watch between 70-75 of the 82 games. Occasional things come up that obviously hold precedence, but that doesn't change how I feel about either party involved. I'll even speak for Pensburgh's own fight expert JDunman. Maybe a week or two ago he e-mailed me saying, "Sorry I missed the fight recap, it was the girlfriend's Bday." What do you say to that? Of course it's cool.

Hell, I'm missing the Maple Leafs/Pens game in January for the same reason. I'm happy my girlfriend understands my particular allegiance to the team, even if it meant teaching her the sport via instant replay on NHL '07. She still insists the ruling is "frosting" instead of "icing," (but I'll take it) and she still hasn't grasped offsides. Oh and a "goal" isn't a "shot" and a "point" isn't just a goal, it's an assist OR a goal. And they call it PIM because it means penalties in minutes...

Phew. I digress.

Perhaps even worse than the question is the response Margo gives, whereby she apparently had no clue that hockey is played on ice where people wear skates. I question whether her first marriage to a hockey fan ended because he was hockey-obsessed or she was just an idiot.

In the long run, I guess what I'm really trying to do here is ask the female readers of the site if this is a legitimate complaint. Obviously, as fans of the team, it might not pose as such a nightmare to you but I'd still like to hear.

As for the guys - have you dealt with anything like this?

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My fiancee owns a Wade Belak jersey.

Game. Set. Match.

Pension Plan Puppets*
* Blog contains less than 2% puppet content by weight.

by Chemmy on Dec 12, 2008 11:55 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

The Leafs haven’t made the playoffs during your relationship either. Good thing you’re getting married.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Dec 12, 2008 11:55 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

So innocent

My fiancee owns a Wade Belak jersey.

Game. Set. Match.

No one told you there is a special overtime period once vows are exchanged? And in that OT, all the rules change. :)

Lighthouse Hockey: an SB Nation New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Dec 12, 2008 12:14 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Ha ha ha. I’m laughing and crying at the same time.

by PensFan024 on Dec 12, 2008 1:06 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

i married a california girl...

so hockey pretty much exists as a game that’s played on a table with two paddles…

that said, she’s gone to a game with me, and allows me to sulk for a full 10 minutes when the leafs put up a stinker…

"You do dat, you go to da box, you know, uh, two minutes by yourself, and you feel shame, you know, and then you get free."
The Left Coast Lock

by blurr1974 on Dec 12, 2008 7:26 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Also

Margo sounds bitter.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Dec 12, 2008 11:56 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Just a bit, right? I thought the same.

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 12, 2008 12:13 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

My girlfriend is pretty understanding of my sports obsessions – During the cubs collapse in the post-season this year she dropped by my place to give me a six-pack of my favorite beer and then left so I could drink and curse at the TV in private… She even likes going to Hockey games but mostly so she can see fights and zambonis. She’s a big Khabibulin fan though so I don’t know how I’m going to break the news to her that he’s gone soon…

www.SecondCityHockey.com

by Matthew Dirt on Dec 12, 2008 12:11 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

My girlfriend doesn’t call it “hockey”, or even “ice hockey”. It’s “F@#&ing Hockey”. She also claims that each season is 14 months in length. In spite of this, she supports my habit and will even go to the games with me…but has warned me that we are through if I ever develop an affinity for baseball.

by puckman80 on Dec 12, 2008 12:15 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Ooh, yes, I’m very familiar with that term for it.

Lighthouse Hockey: an SB Nation New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Dec 12, 2008 12:33 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I dated a Penguins fan once. We’re not together anymore, for obvious reasons. =P

But honestly, I would much rather have a girlfriend who is a fan of a rival team than someone who hates hockey. I’ve had both, and I greatly preferred arguing about why Crosby sucks (kidding, kinda) than arguing with someone who doesn’t know who Crosby is.

Broad And Pattison - A Philadelphia Flyers Blog
Because the Broad Street Subway is orange for a reason.

by Travis Hughes on Dec 12, 2008 12:47 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Funny, I dated a Flyers fan once. This was of course back in 2005/06, so she had a lot more going for her team than I did for mine. But if I had to rank her fanship on a 1-10 scale I’d say it was a 4. She wasn’t too familiar with who Eric Lindros is, the root of all my Flyers jokes. So her allegiance was only minimal at best.

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 12, 2008 12:51 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

my love of hockey was well-established before my relationship, therefore it’s an already set personality trait….much like her love of shoes. so now, it’s understood :)

by GoingFiveHole on Dec 12, 2008 12:58 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

speaking as a female hockey fan— where can i find this guy?

i’d say the girl is the one not into the relationship. i think baseball is crazy boring but i put up with it because my boyfriend likes it. horrible advice!

by goalddigger on Dec 12, 2008 1:09 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

When my wife and I started dating one the things we did the most was go to Pens games because of the “student rush” program. So, she learned early on that I loved hockey. And, as an added bonus, when she became a fan the Pens stunk, so now she loves the sport cause she can understand and see why the team is better. Now if I could only get her to actually go to a Steelers’ game with me.

by PensFan024 on Dec 12, 2008 1:12 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Baby steps Steely, baby steps. I’ve always thought the ladies would find football more appealing since it’s only once a week, 16 times a year + playoffs and more “primetime” in terms of publicity.

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 12, 2008 1:34 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Too Bad

Personally as a female, I think this is great! I would LOVE to have a boyfriend who was as in to Hockey as I am. Of course, I don’t want to date a Penguins fan (Ducks fan here). Too bad for Margo…she doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. Hockey=Best Sport EVER!

by SK eleven on Dec 12, 2008 1:13 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Oops, Just realized it was DEAR MARGO…
I meant too bad for the “off season girlfriend”…

by SK eleven on Dec 12, 2008 1:17 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Well technically Margo too I guess, seeing as how she divorced a hockey fan.

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 12, 2008 1:18 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Not necessarily

She said “former husband,” so she may have had him run over by a zamboni.

Lighthouse Hockey: an SB Nation New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Dec 13, 2008 10:13 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

In her attempts to BE the zamboni drive, ie. to catch her attention as suggested in the article, she realized it wasn’t working and just plowed over her helpless husband. Then in hindsight she’d realize he was really moonlighting as an ice scraper to get the extra money to buy her a really nice Christmas gift.

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 14, 2008 4:13 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

She doesn't know how lucky she is

I would love to find a man who is as Penguin obsessed as I am. Most of the guys that I meet have no clue about hockey.

by hockeyjenn on Dec 12, 2008 1:19 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Tell them to give up that football crap and watch a real sport.

Let's go Pens!

by JDunman on Dec 12, 2008 2:51 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Early in our relationship, my girlfriend tagged along to a beer league hockey game with me and my brother, just because she wanted to learn about this ‘thing’ I liked so much. Now imagine sitting on freezing bleachers watching sub-par players while talking to me and Joe of Mile High Hockey. Strangely enough, we’re still quite happy. She regularly tells me that she wants to see an NHL game, so that’s the plan after the new year.

Oh, and by the way –

When I read the line about the license plate I knew it wasn’t me, since SxMchne is not the name of a hockey player

That’s absolutely hilarious. I was thinking I sure hope her guy’s favorite player wasn’t Malone.

Let's go Pens!

by JDunman on Dec 12, 2008 2:51 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

At least you took the lady out to the grassroots of it all. Where do you plan to hit up a game? Gonna try and make it out to Pitt?

As for the license plate, I would’ve loved it if she said, “Yeah, and his license plate says ‘Beech’ on it. What does that even mean?”

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 12, 2008 3:02 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

My husband does not like hockey or sports in general. Early on inthe relationship, I took him to a few hockey games and he maintains that he always gets bored by the second period (!!?). I watch 70+ games of hockey per season and go to games often while he sits home and plays MMORPGs. In fact that is all he ever does for almost 8 to 13 hours a day. Hockey rules, video games cause drool.

This is all reminding me of Greg Berehdt’s (sp) wise words, “He’s just not that into you”.

Red Wings Suck

by texacogirl on Dec 12, 2008 3:05 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

The “he only has one ticket” part of the Dear Margo thing reminded me of the “He’s just not that into you” phrase, too. It’s like come on, now: if he’s not getting another ticket to let her even give it a try, then it’s time to move on.

Lighthouse Hockey: an SB Nation New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Dec 12, 2008 5:16 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Damn, that’s not fair. I’d kill for a man who didn’t think “icing” was something you cover a cake with.

by Videre on Dec 12, 2008 4:55 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

It's harder for a girl...

As some have mentioned, I think it’s harder for a girl.

It’s understood that guys are going to like sports, but when a girl is obsessed with her team and the guy likes sports or is just eh to sports, it’s weird. It’s even worse when you work in sports as it only compounds the problem.

Like some of the girls above, I just hope I can find a guy who loves sports too. Hockey doesn’t have to be his favorite sport, but he has to not mind being around it. My last boyfriend was a big Detroit Tigers fan so I started watching more baseball w/ him and he watched some hockey for me. Oh well.

by Christy on Dec 12, 2008 5:24 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

My girlfriend has been a Sharks fan since they were founded. She introduced me to hockey when we started dating over 2 years ago. Now she affectionately tells people she’s “created a hockey monster.” She also says that under her breath when I explain the reason I’m on the computer during the intermission breaks of the game is because I’m live-blogging on FTF’s open thread.

Needless to say, she’s very understanding because after all, she has nobody to blame but herself…

by WillR on Dec 12, 2008 7:54 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Mmm, a date would be nice, um, change the subject quick, this town is full of, well, Flames fans, no way in hell i’m dating, if I ever had a date, a Flames fan. As for poor little off-season only girlfriend, suck it up sister, life’s tough, get a helmet .
note-part stolen from Dennis Leary

by AngelaMc on Dec 12, 2008 8:54 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Which oddly enough I think was also featured in an episode of Boy Meets World.

Not that I’d know or anything…

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 12, 2008 11:27 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Now Boy Meets World obsessions are something I could get onboard with. I once had two beautiful goldfish named Cory and Topanga. (Sadly, that was not even that long ago.)

by Dayna on Dec 13, 2008 3:32 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I get it

So I am a female totally obsessed with the Avalanche. I am a college student, so attending all of their home games is almost impossible, but I end up going to about 10 a year. I have a ton of av;s apperal etc, and for me, trying to find a man who can match my love for hockey is hard to come by. I sort of empathize with the guy for having a girlfriend who can’t appreciate the fine art of being a die hard hockey fan. That would explain why I am single though!

by sararach on Dec 13, 2008 12:42 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

To be honest, I would probably break up with this guy too, because he doesn’t sound like just an obsessed hockey fan – he kind of sounds like a jerk. He “needs” to go to all home games. He makes her feel “unimportant” and he obviously hasn’t noticed seeing as she’s writing to an advice columnist for help. Sounds like this guy is a little selfish – compromise makes the world go round.

It’s like you guys were saying above – if it’s someone’s birthday or anniversary or something significant, you’re not watching hockey (unless you’re both hockey fans – in which case, knock yourselves out). From the sounds of this letter – that guy may not have gotten the memo. So – I might be in the minority, but I think it’s a legitimate complaint.

That’s not to say that I haven’t forced those near and dear to me listen to some extended hockey ramblings, or watch a few games, but as far as I know, I’ve never driven anyone to the point of writing to an advice columnist. I’ve also comprimised and watched more baseball than I would like – or in the case of one particularly close friend, a lot of movies with subtitles.

Also – “And they call it PIM because it means penalties in minutes…” That is enlightening. I always wondered what that ridiculous acronym stood for.

by Dayna on Dec 13, 2008 3:30 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

To many hockey fans, a single baseball game is more baseball than they would like. I don’t despise it all that much, but as the Yankees continue to sign players for the value of another team’s entire payroll, I start to hate it more and more…

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 13, 2008 5:17 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I gave in and actually learned the rules of football… can’t that be enough? ;-) I actually don’t mind baseball, but on tv I feel like it loses most of it’s charm – it just takes too long, and not much happens. Something about baseball for me just has to be watched live.

by Dayna on Dec 13, 2008 10:24 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

In all seriousness...

Dayna, I doubt you’re in the minority in your interpretation of the guy — of course the girl has a legit complaint. I was flippant because it’s funny (from a distance) and because advice column complaints are usually amusing, but this scenario strikes me as two young people still figuring out what they want out of life: He’s into his sports and not sure (if he’s even aware of her concern) how to integrate a girl into his guy scene. And she’s a young woman who, sadly, doesn’t realize what greater capacity she should be looking for in a relationship.

I’m fairly hockey obsessed — and my wife was actually a fan, although her interest had receded by the time we first met. But I know how to turn it down a notch, and there’s simply no way we’d be together if any of our individual interests overwhelmed the time or energy we have for each other. Step 1 is understanding what one wants out of life. Step 2, should luck allow, is finding someone with a similar approach and sense of self. Hopefully this girl writing to Dear Margo figures that out.

/ends after-school special.

Lighthouse Hockey: an SB Nation New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Dec 13, 2008 10:11 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

For sure, and I think your advice is spot on (maybe you should apply for Margo’s job). I definitely didn’t take any of the earlier comments to mean that people were saying this girl was out of line in her complaint- if she’d been complaining that her boyfriend was doing the same thing but with World of Warcraft in place of hockey my response would have been the same (and Margo’s too, I’m sure, minus some of the bitterness about hockey – unless her former husband was also a gamer). It just happens to be a sad fact that as a young university student myself I have seen this situation, and given that same advice, maybe once too many times (and not only with guys – girls can be huge jerks too), but the bright side is, like you said, they’re young and they have plenty of time to figure it out.

Of course the most interesting part of advice columns is that you only ever get one side of the story. So when I re-read the article I couldn’t help but wonder what that guy might have to say about his girlfriend – in retrospect I might have jumped to “jerk” a bit too quickly – but that’s always the danger of the advice column.

by Dayna on Dec 14, 2008 1:07 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Of course. Maybe the game is a chance for him to get away from school, work and an obsessive girlfriend (should she in fact be labeled as such). Sometimes you just need to get out. Perhaps I too was a bit early to label him as “sad” in terms of going to a game by yourself, but I don’t know – games are just different than, say, going to the movies by yourself. The game is all about hanging out with someone and cheering/rooting for your team, pointless banter with the fans around you and expensive food that is just a notch (or below) high school cafeteria quality.

Follow the Penguins on SBN @ Pensburgh.com

by FrankD on Dec 14, 2008 4:11 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Well, I feel sorry for that girl, sounds like her guy is kind of a dick. However, my girlfriend and I love watching hockey together! We watched the Pens stomp the Islanders on Thursday. We’re most definitely gonna watch the game against the Flyers today. We went to a college hockey game last night. Finally, at the game last night she gave me my Christmas present early, tickets to the Pens/Sabres game in Buffalo on the 22nd! I’m very excited as this will be my first Pens game ever! So, hockey isn’t a problem for us!

by TrueBluePSU on Dec 13, 2008 11:49 AM EST reply actions 0 recs