Christmas special: Giving gifts to the Penguins

Resident SB Nation blog Canes Country had a great idea and wanted to hand out some gifts to their players.  So what do we do with great ideas?  That's right, shamelessly rip them.

After the jump, what I'd give to the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Craig Adams: A goal.  Dating back to his time in Chicago, Adams has gone 66 games in the regular season without lighting the lamp.  It's not a necessary facet of his game, but it sure would be nice for him to get one.

Matt Cooke: A silent night or two.  Cooke's always in the middle of something, be it a non-stop forecheck or suspect hit -- both giving, or receiving.  He's the busiest guy that's hands are always in the dirt, a nice relaxing breather is in order.

Sidney Crosby: An Olympic gold medal, another scoring championship and a second Stanley Cup in as many years.  You know, just to put a nail in the coffin about who the best hockey player in the world really is.

Pascal Dupuis: Hands to match his feet.  One of the hardest working players in the NHL, if he only had the skill to finish the chances his speed and motor earns him.

Mark Eaton: A little recognition.  It aint sexy being a defensive defenseman in the NHL and Eaton may fly under the radar more than any player the Penguins have.

Ruslan Fedotenko: The power the grow the most badass playoff beard ever.  And the chance of a long playoff run to be able to do so.

Marc-Andre Fleury:  The chance to play in the Olympics and show the world (again) why there's no better goaltender in the world right now when it comes to winning.

BIll Guerin: The fountain of youth.  The grizzled veteran is having the time of his life and keeping up with all the young bucks.  It can't last forever, but it sure is enjoyable for everyone right now.

Eric Godard: An exercise bike. He only plays 4:46 a night on the nights he even gets in the lineup.

Alex Goligoski: His groove back.  The Goose was on the loose in the beginning of the season, but since he suffered an injury he hasn't scored a goal since November 3rd and only has 4 assists in his last 12 games.

Sergei Gonchar: Sustained health.  The Pens are an amazing 36-9-8 with Gonchar in the lineup since the beginning of the 2008-09 season and a dreadful 34-29-5 without him.  That's a trend that's not a coincidence and not likely to change.

Brent Johnson:  An iPod loaded with all the Led Zepellin songs.  Give Johnny some of his beloved music to hear while he's backing up Fleury.

Tyler Kennedy:  A shave.  That mandated mustache (for losing the shootout competition) is looking pretty ragged.  It'll be gone when December's over, thankfully for everyone.

Chris Kunitz: A second chance amongst Pens fans.  A lot of vocal people jumped on Kunitz's back early in the year for his lack of production, but with 7 points in his 4 games, can he turn the corner and warm the detractor's hearts?

Kris Letang:  A new contract at a reasonable rate that keeps him in Pittsburgh for a long time.  Afterall 22 year old defensemen with 200+ NHL games (reg and post-season) don't just grow on trees and Letang has so much more still to offer for many years to come.

Evgeni Malkin:  Some of Momma Malkin's home-cooking.  Geno's followed his Conn Smythe season with uneven results, getting his parents back to America would be a blessing that could only lift his spirits on the ice.

Jay McKee: A bullet-proof vest.  He's taken more shots than a diabetic.

Brooks Orpik: A full head of steam to meet a forward entering the zone with the puck on his stick and his head down.

Mike Rupp:  That his legend as the Noted one doesn't die down in the new year.

Martin Skoula:  A couple nice suits and ties that he can wear in the press box.  Nothing personal, his play has been more than sufficient but Skoula watching from above would mean the top 6 defensemen are healthy.

Jordan Staal:  A healed up beak.  It hasn't stopped his iron-man streak, and hopefully nothing else will.

Maxime Talbot: Momentum.  It's been tough for everyone's favorite Superstar to come back from off-season shoulder surgery.  He hasn't been able to gain any traction jupming back into the action, but once he gets his legs under him those customary clutch goals will surely follow in the spring months.

And let's not forget about the coaches and management...

Mike Yeo: A comprehensive book and video about power-play strategies, for his own good to take a little heat off a guy who's trying his best.

Tony Granato:  The chance to run an NHL team of his own sooner than later.

Dan Bylsma:  A bottle.  To capture that magic that has him above all other coaches in his brief time behind the bench.

Ray Shero:  This year's title of NHL Executive of the Year for all his wise choices that have set the table for all the on-ice success we've seen and that is still ahead.

Mario Lemieux:  What do you get the guy that has almost everything?  How about another bottle of fine wine and the knowledge of appreciation from Pens' fans around the world for his unparalled contibutions to a single franchise in NHL history.

Finally, a big tip-cap to Pensburgh readers and commenters, who've made this blog one of the fastest growing hockey blogs in the past year.  You're the reason that Frank, Dunman, Lavender and myself strive hard to bring you the best and freshest content and perspective around.  A joyous, safe and fun holiday for you all, surrounded by those you love the most.