All I have is one, simple request to the good people of Pensburgh.
You see, I'm not a Pens fan by any means. Here's what I am, though - I'm an Avs fan. A die-hard Avs fan. It's painful to see my team in the state that it is in now. You know what makes it even more painful, though? Seeing the Red Wings roll through everybody ever since the lockout.
See, in Colorado, our state motto is "Nil Sine Numine". That's a Latin phrase, one that I'm told means "Nothing without Providence". If I'm not mistaken, though, it actually means "RED WINGS SUCK!" While I'm sure you guys don't need any convincing after last year when it comes to that notion, our friend at Mile High Hockey, Jibblescribbits, will be glad to fully explain to you exactly why the Red Wings suck.
It's some kind of Soviet/Communist/European/Gary Bettman conspiracy, I'm convinced, to get every great player from across the pond to play on a team together outside of international play. In determining the location of this union, Herr Bettman decided to simply toss a magic dart at a map of NHL cities (well, actually, not all NHL cities...It was really only Detroit, Phoenix, Nashville, and Miami).
When Herr Bettman tossed his magic dart at his map, it somehow landed on the toxic wasteland known as Detroit. They already had Datsyuk, Zetterberg, and Lidstrom, and of course, they find this kid named Franzen. Then all of a sudden, Marian Hossa decides to go there. How the hell does this happen? The rich get richer, and it's time Robin Hood made an appearance in Detroit in the form of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
As you may or may not know, there are two things that we love doing in Colorado. The first is hating the Oakland Raiders. The second is hating the Detroit Red Wings. Some say that the Wings are tough to dislike - hell, our own Terry Frei of the Denver Post asked the question last year if anyone in Colorado could actually muster any disdain for the Red Wings anymore. The answer, of course, is a resounding, "Yes!". In fact, I find it just as easy to hate them now as I did in the days when McCarty and Konstantinov were running around trying to kill guys. I hate the Red Wings with everything I have in me. So with that being said, here is my request:
Would you guys please - please - destroy the Red Wings?