STOP WITH THE SHENANIGANS: Pens Injuries and Expected Returns (NEW POLL)

Another Pensburgher posted a list of our injured players in a fanpost, and I decided that I wanted more information: like what's wrong with them, and when we might start seeing them come back to our lineup. So I made a list. I have also included their current point-stats in order to help give some sense of what they have contributed to the team so far. That obviously doesn't tell the whole story, but it's a start. And besides giving us regulars the whole depressing picture in one (fan)shot, hopefully it will help to give random passersby a better sense of what the Pens are dealing with.

Or at least it did. Today (February 18th) we got a superfantastic update from Head Coach Dan Bylsma who let us know that while Kunitz and Letestu hit the ice sans gear, they, along with Jeffrey, "won't be playing this weekend".

And for all you suckers who voted in the previous version of our poll (Results: roughly 40% of you thought Asham would be back first, while the rest of you were split pretty evenly between Letestu, Tangradi and Crosby), it turns out that Asham has a concussion-like. That's right: a concussion-like! Word is that Dupuis was in the background during Bylsma's press conference, snidely remarking about how they'd fooled us all. It's a good thing we had our helmets on ...

And finally, Nick Johnson, he of 4 NHL games and 1 NHL goal this season, sustained some sort of upper body mojo during practice and will not likely be available this weekend. You know, the Pens should really consider skipping practice altogether. Although it's not likely that he got hit in the hand with a slapshot, or got stuck in a rut and twisted his knee: because that clearly never happens.

Follow me after the jump for a list of our injured players, roughly sort of kind of in order of when they are expected back. ...

Nick Johnson (4-1-2-3)                 Upper Body                     18-Feb               Cursed                  At some point

So, basically, the relief we're looking for is going to come even more slowly than we thought. Perhaps the up side is that the Pens just play on Wednesday & Sunday this week, so they have some time to rest, some time to work their myriad of call-ups into the game, and some time to whip their defense back into shape. There's no upside. If you're playing well, you're going to get hurt. DO YOU HEAR THAT, J-STAAL? DO YOU HEAR THAT?!

And, of course, Ray has a few days left to think about potential trades (our prospects are getting a nice chance to showcase themselves!). But Mario will be busy explaining to people about how the NHL shouldn't be such disciplinarian pansies, so we should probably leave him alone.

As for Ray and Mario: I heard something about a first rounder to Boston for Tomas Kaberle, Ian White, and Blake Wheeler. And also Rick DiPietro. They have a bet about how things could in fact actually be worse on the injury front.