OK. I'll say it. I thought Jagr's reasons/excuses were lame, insulting and still amusing. I decided to jot down a few more equally stupid ones. It actually felt therapeutic, so I kept going until the challenge of getting 68 excuses set in.

1- He forgot it was the archrival of the team that will eventually retire his jersey.

2- He wants to be like Ray Bourque and have his jersey retired in two cities.

3- He felt sorry for the Flyers and their Stanley Cup jinx and believes that he is the rabbit's paw they have been looking for.

4- He wants to be the first NHL player to win the Stanley Cup, Art Ross and Hart in two different cities.

5- He prefers to play with right-handed centers.

6- He is intimidated by the notion of being coached by a thoughtful strategic coach who won the Jack Adams.

7- His investment portfolio could make a capital gains increase of several million dollars, but he wants several million and the after tax fortune $1.3M will provide too.

8- He is intimidated by a workaholic like Crosby.

9- He really doesn't want to backcheck. Powerplay is enough.

10- He thought Phildelphia was an Original 6 team.

11- He was going to sign with Pittsburgh, but thought the mating turtles at the airport was a sign to do something rash.

12- He didn't want the zoo to name a penguin after him.

13- After telling Mario he would do his best to help the Penguins, he realized that his best was to take is moody sulky attitude to another team.

14- Last time he checked, the Penguins were doing just fine with minor leaguers.

15- "What? Their star players fight too?"

16- Doesn't know the Penguins now play in a state of the art arena.

17- They all speak Czech in Philadelphia.

18- Thought the chanting of "You suck. You suck." in Philadelphia was "Suck you. Suck you." Who could resist that offer?

19- Always wanted to play with Max Talbot and ask, "What is Crosby really like?"

20- "Missed the deadline? Wait. Is the international dateline in the Atlantic or the Pacific?"

21- Checked the stats. Crosby and Malkin actually block shots. Yikes!

22- Still stinging about the Steelers loss in the Superbowl.

23- Afraid he would be traded to Washington again.

24- Heard rumors about the poor ice conditions at the Consol Energy Center.

25- Flipped a coin. Heads, Pittsburgh. Tails, Detroit. Edge, philadelphia.

26- Was drafted 5th overall in 1990. Little creeped out by the prospect of playing with 4 guys drafted higher than he: Crosby (1st), Fleury (1st), Malkin (2nd) and Staal (2nd). And, Ryan Whitney (also 5th) was traded for Kunitz.

27- Kovie told him that they would get him at the trade deadline anyway, so why the rush?

28- The Czech Republic is landlocked, so he really wanted to live by the sea.

29- Wearing orange means there is less of a chance of getting shot by hunters.

30- Didn't want to contribute to Crosby beating his career highs of 62 goals, 87 assists and 149 points.

31- Letang is less intimidating to play against than Pronger.

32- Thanks to the Flyers uniform, people will call him an ass or a dick.

33- Pittsburgh makes him miss the mullet.

34- Hates it when GMs misspell is name 'Mario Jr' on offer letters.

35- "What does north-south style mean?"

36- Doesn't know that the Flyers also play 82 games.

37- Wanted to follow his heart, but said heart just lead him to the money.

38- "LeBron who?"

39- There was a misunderstanding. He said, "In a word, Pittsburgh. In two words, not Pittsburgh."

40- Was in the mood for a bidding war, but Shero wasn't.

41- It is better to apologize for not signing than to apologize for not performing to anyone's standards.

42- Misrepresenting your enthusiasm is acceptable in some countries.

43- Wants to make people happy and there are more people in Philadelphia.

44- Better to live dead in Philadelphia than to die alive in Pittsburgh.

45- Oddly, the first clause of Shero's offer letter said, "I dare you to sign somewhere else."

46- Nearly impossible to win elusive Conn Smythe on same team as Crosby, Malkin and Fleury.

47- Are your really reading this list? Cool.

48- Misheard "Je prens une douche." for "Jagr is a douche." Didn't know that the French word for 'shower' is 'douche'.

49- Hossa snubbed Pittsburgh and went on to win the Stanley Cup, so there.

50- Danny Briere and Claude Giroux are both going to have 100 point seasons according to an enthusiastic 14 year old Flyers fan.

51- The Marvel comics character for Philadelphia was cooler than the Pittsburgh one.

52- Always wanted to play an outdoor game like the Winter Classic and maybe even get on HBO.

53- Realized that the best thing for the Penguins buzz was to throw gasoline on the Flyers rivalry. Insulting Mario publicly was a nice touch.

54- Bryzgalov won 36 games last year, while Fleury only won 36.

55- If God wanted Penguins fans to be happy, he would have given them all pet monkeys.

56- Alcohol lead to a Flyers logo tattoo which lead to an unfortunate reduction in choices of teams.

57- The Flyers hometown makes a delicious cream cheese.

58- The best way to earn trust is to betray a friend's enemies who were once your friends.

59- The is a saying in Czech, "If you score a hat trick at the Ice Hockey World Championships, you cannot accept less than $3M to play in the NHL."

60- Even after 11 seasons in Pittsburgh, he never knew what exact species of Penguin was on his jersey. It bugged him.

61- Prefers to be the only former winner of the Art Ross and Hart on a forward line.

62- He actually hates the Flyers, but his therapist says that the best way to stop hating them is to give them a try.

63- Old guys don't like Xs and Os. Prefers a coach who will just pep talk the players.

64- Never lived Chez Lemieux like Crosby did. Hurts to be left out!

65- Really wanted to play in Pittsburgh, but not 41 home games. Complete misunderstanding.

66- On the way to sign the Pittsburgh contract, he mistakenly sat next to a hypnotist from Philadelphia. Clucking like a chicken, he signed with Philadelphia.

67- His father's name is also Jaromir Jagr. Thought the Pittsburgh offer was for his dad.

68- In Czech they say, "Do not choose your wife at a dance, but in the field among the harvesters."

Wanna extend the list to 100?