To take a page from Hooks' recap the other night:

• Pens won in a shootout to improve to 4-0 in the preseason
• If you watched it, lucky you. That means you were there.
• I know only what I can read, since I didn't listen, which means everything is just numbers that signify the difference between a good and a bad performance.Unfortunately that doesn't work either, since there must be some sort of in-game error that limits stats to just period-by-period updates.
  
• So that means this is our recap: wow, what a shootout. It went to eight rounds. Someone scored for the Penguins, then someone scored for the Kings, before someone scored from the Pens again to seal the win.
• That's all.