The basic function of officials in NHL games is to replace the dice, and randomize what happens in games. Offsides? Oops! Rolled a 1! Botch! Illegal goal for Briere. Couturier slashes Malkin six times on the same play? Oops! Rolled a 1! Botch! Not a penalty. Orpik hits Briere while both of them are in the same place as the puck? Oops! Another 1! Botch! Penalty to Orpik for Not Actually Committing Interference. Schenn scores on the powerplay.

The best way to win in the playoffs is to ignore the rules of the game, since the officials do.