clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Conspiracy Theory

I'm convinced I was the only one awake at 3 a.m. Monday morning flipping through channels and finding the hilarious correlation between Mel Gibson's character in the movie Conspiracy Theory with that of the general population of Rangers fans.  And in the slight chance you were awake at the same time, please chime in - I can't possibly be alone on this one.

While Mel Gibson was ducking for cover from the invisible enemy is his mind, finding some sick infatuation with the J.D. Salinger classic "Catcher in the Rye", Rangers fans were running rampant on the Internet and N.Y. radio about Gary Bettman's conspiracy to make the Rangers lose.  Never mind all of the obvious reasons WHY the Rangers lost; it just must be a conspiracy.

A lot of people, and by people I mean Penguins fans; and even more specifically Tony Ferrante, know this is absolutely ridiculous and probably the furthest thing from the truth.  I'd also bet on any odds given that if Pittsburgh were in the same position as New York, hardly anyone would assume Bettman and the NHL fathered such a ridiculous idea.  However amongst all those analyzing the fix, the Western Conference is mysteriously silent.  

Now, I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact I live in the Eastern United States, but for the most part I've heard little to no rumors, complaints or conspiracies surrounds Western Conference teams.

This makes me slightly uneasy.

Do the Penguins even know what kind of enemy they may be up against, should they make it all the way to Lord Stanley?  Personally, with the way I've seen things transpiring in the East, my preferred pick against the Penguins would be the Stars.  Detroit is down right intimidating, San Jose looks like they're struggling to stay alive in murky waters and Colorado won't survive amongst the likes of the aforementioned teams.  Besides, they'd have to get through Detroit first...

Although I may not know a whole bunch about San Jose and Colorado, I know that out of Detroit and Dallas I'd prefer a Stanley Cup rematch with the Stars.  That's just personal preference...

Instead of redirecting my attention to such considerations, my RSS feeds and inbox have been slammed with the same regurgitated crap about Crosby diving, Avery interning, Roberts wanting to play and league wide conspiracies to make the Penguins win.

At least Rangers fans didn't catch on to the plate of Plexiglas behind Marc-Andre Fleury in game two, which conveniently sealed off the net for the entire game.  Gary Bettman decided the best way to get away with it would be to convinced MAF that all he had to do was protect the bottom of the net - the rest would be taken care of.  An unknown chip developed in the glass between periods, allowing a Martin Straka goal to emerge.  Without hesitation, at the first glimpse of a goal on the horizon, officials blew the whistle, ruled the play dead and punched Straka directly in the face for not abiding to the new league rules: let the Penguins win.

[LATE EDIT] - Holy crap - and we thought Emery was good (but not that good).

Here are the stats as of Sunday:

Updated Stats

FORWARDS
Player G A Pts PIM
(6*)Beech 0 0 0 0
Crosby 2 8 10 2
Dupuis 1 1 2 6
**Hall 1 0 1 2
Hossa 2 5 7 2
Kennedy 0 2 2 4
Laraque 0 1 1 0
Malkin 3 7 10 0
Malone 2 5 7 4
(4*)Roberts 2 0 2 16
Ruutu 2 1 3 4
Staal 2 1 3 8
Sykora 4 0 4 4
(6*)Taffe 0 0 0 0
Talbot 1 1 2 6
DEFENSEMEN
Player G A Pts PIM
Gill 0 0 0 4
Gonchar 1 2 3 0
Letang 0 0 0 4
Orpik 0 1 1 4
Scuderi 0 3 3 2
(6*)Sydor 0 0 0 0
Whitney 0 3 3 13
GOALIES
Player W L SO SF SV SV%
Fleury 6 0 2 162 153 .944
Conklin 0 0 0 0 0 0
Sabourin 0 0 0 0 0 0

(*) denotes a game scratch