Not a joke. Not the Onion. This is an actual, accurate report, according to the Islanders' official web page:
The New York Islanders announced today that goaltender Rick DiPietro is expected to miss the next four to six weeks with both facial fractures and knee swelling.
Many joked that DP would skate away from it with an injury, and in the end those jokes turned out to be very soothsayer-like. Lesson learned here? Don't mess with Brent Johnson.