Because absolutely nobody demanded it (the first clip is, somehow, the only one that's NSFW):
Sure, the Penguins may be the fifth oldest team in the NHL, but come playoff time, you can never have enough fiery veteran leadership (and other random combinations of intangibles). Also known as "The Teacha," KRS-One has always made a point of taking the lead in the hip-hop community in terms of education.
The KRS acronym translates to Knowledge-Reigns-Supreme. Any worries about KRS-One not grasping Dan Bylsma's complex puck retrieval system should be tossed aside. In terms of work ethic, he's released FOURTEEN albums since 1993, and that's excluding cameos or his previous work with Boogie Down Productions. That translates to success on the forecheck. GET TO YOUR GAME KRS-ONE.
4. Kanye West
OKAY, OKAY. Hear me out.
BUY LOW! The guy is legitimately talented. He's just sort of a prick. The well-known prickish qualities lower Kanye's value, but he maintains quality in production. Kanye's like an absurdist version of the already absurd Sean Avery soaked in gamma radiation. Instead of turning green when he's angry, he interrupts Taylor Swift.
And -- very much in the vein (vain works here too) of Avery -- imagine some of the professional attire he'd wear to games.
Can you picture Kanye getting the NHL 24/7, slow motion pregame walk in that? Yes, you can. And you know it's fantastic.
Wu-Tang after the jump.
3). Gift of Gab
Rare as they may be, some of the best deadline occur on the cheap, and far under the radar (think Johan Hedberg in 2001). Players who, for whatever reason, were left unnoticed, unloved, and deemed unready for the big time are left beckoning in the minor leagues, waiting for their opportunity to impress.
Enter Gift of Gab. Known primarily for his work in Blackalicious, a partnership with DJ Chief Xcel, Gift of Gab is a rapper with a keen mind and ridiculous flow. For whatever reason, he remains out of the spotlight. Whatever the problem may be, it's certainly not skill.
Add in the fact that he's got to weigh over 200 lbs., and you have a well-adjusted, physical presence who's just begging to make a mark on the world's stage.
He may have a little problem with cannabis. He may live in a ramshackle apartment. But Reggie Noble is consistent. He's high profile enough to cause some excitement, but not so high profile that he's high maintenance. Best of all, he BRINGS THE FUNNY.
Yeah, the Pens have had to deal with a bunch of bittery depressing concussions and injuries and stuff, but Redman's going to bust in during closed door meetings, dump cereal on everyone's head and start busting a flow. Funny is brought, sadness melts away, team bonding ensues.
1). Old Dirty Bastard
The Old Dirty Bastard, aka Dirt McGirt, aka Osiris, aka Big Baby Jesus, aka the Bebop Specialist, aka Freeloadin' Rusty, aka Joe Bananas, aka Peanut the Kidnapper, aka Knifey McStab is always first.
An impact player, an innovator, a man unafraid to take a stand...
...and a free agent. Don't let his death fool you, ODB's gotten himself out of trickier situations.
And one MC to avoid...
No, not Kevin Kline.