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Pens Points Monday: The First Pancake is Always Lumpy

Your daily thread of Pens and NHL news and topics. The first preseason game is in the books and the Pens lost in OT. The only person that looks lost on the Malkin line is Malkin. His wingers are going to be A-OK. BizNasty will be tweeting for the first 10 games of the season because he's better at it than he is at hockey. Tim Thomas chose the Panthers as they were the only team willing to guarantee no White House visits.

It's a dull and rainy Monday but at least I had birthday cake for breakfast, courtesy of the kid in the picture, who just turned 7. She got a 2013-14 Pens calendar and quickly worked out that there are exactly 17 days until the puck drops for the first regular season game at CEC.

The first preseason game is in the bag, and a mixed bag it is. I've yet to see it (due to the aforementioned birthday event) but the early rumblings are mostly positive. Flower went 10 for 12 and didn't let in any terrible goals (we should hold hands and sing kumbaya), Geno took three minor penalties (he needs to chill down, have a joint and listen to some reggae while practicing faceoffs), Bennett and Neal had a good chemistry experiment and a few other guys looked pretty good as well (Kobasew, Jeffrey, and Kuhnhackl who we'll just call TK from now on).

The next game is tonight. I am pretty certain I won't get to see that one either, but I've been wondering about the Red Wings and their 75 forwards. What are they going to do with all of them? Our pals from Winging It In Motown have the analysis for us.

Besides the Pens and the Jackets, there were a couple other teams squaring off last night, including the Kings and the Yotes. Rostislav Klesla got hammered by Jordan Nolan and taken off on a stretcher. Following that hit, Paul Bissonette left the bench to fight Nolan after he came out of the penalty box, earning himself a GM and a probable 10-game suspension for leaving the bench to fight. That's good news as he'll have more time to spend on Twitter regaling us with his sharp tongue. It's also good news for the Yotes as oh god I can't believe this man has an NHL contract.

Tim Thomas is joining the Panthers on a PTO, apparently. He chose the Panthers because they were apparently the only team willing to guarantee that there won't be any White House visits. Now only Ilya Bryzgalov is missing for the Panthers to show the rest of the Atlantic Division why they will be no joke this year by unveiling the greatest goalie tandem in the history of the universe. I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall in that dressing room.

In other news, Spezza is the new Senators captain, Jamie Benn is poised for superstardom, and Taylor Hall is the new Mark Messier.

Enjoy the rest of your Monday, you guys.