Rob Rossi of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review is a the sports writer version of a Matt Barnaby type of hockey player. He's a pest, lives to yap, gets under your skin and stays there. You don't want to give him attention, but yet you gotta smack the mosquito before he tries to suck too much of your blood.
Or as Penguins general manager Jim Rutherford accurately put it last April, when he screamed publicly at Rossi that "you're a [word that rhymes with truckin] jerk!"
Rossi's latest doom and gloom, "Pens are on the brink of disaster" column (which won't be linked here for soon to be obvious reasons) shows him going Doctor Columnist and stating that Marc-Andre Fleury is a liar for saying he feels OK enough to practice. And needlessly puts the names of his wife and small children in print as some kind of bizarre personal ploy. Then conveniently ignores how coach Mike Sullivan gave no less than 2 updates last week saying Fleury was progressing well (to the point where he was possible, though not probable to play in Saturday's regular season finale). Gotta ignore these statements because it didn't fit the narrative that Rossi is a human lie detector, Fleury is a lying liar who's jeopardizing his entire family's well-being.
This, of course, is a fairly ridiculous limb to go out on, for the sole purpose of being a contrarian and to desperately put himself at the center of attention. The internet is the great equalizer and was anxious to give him that when the Trib promoted it through social media. The people spoke and called him on his idiotic agenda and phony bullshit. And, as all great smackdowns go, it was as hilarious as it was enjoyable.
(And before we begin, this isn't to say boycott all of the Trib...Jonathan Bombulie and Bill West cover the Pens and are among the best in town, it's a shame their brand is diluted by a maniac)
Ok, with that out the way, enjoy.
Billy Madison is never not great
^^ That comment made me laugh the most of them all
Don't talk about it, be about it, Johnny
We've all been asking wtf is wrong with this guy for a long time
School of Columnist Medicine, fo sho
That's certainly a visual
Simple, yet refined
Not just a case of stupid, a mean case
Good enough to stand on its own.
"First time, long time"
If being in a fraternity taught me anything it's that one more and, by law, the motion automatically passes.
So we're learning, Frank
Greg is bringing the heat, fam
Old Beeter is making so diagnoses too
And the perfect conclusion, we come full circle to an insult that Rutherford laid down on Rossi last spring.
It wasn't just the lay fans who took ol' Rob to task, his former co-worker at the Trib Josh Yohe got in the act too
Throwing the "pal" in at the end is such a power move and something I totally recommend doing for any and all passive-aggressive arguments.
The day of the playoffs, it's nice to take a chance to laugh.