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1,975 reasons the Penguins are manhandling the Flyers

Because everyone loves a listicle!

Pittsburgh Penguins v Philadelphia Flyers - Game Four Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

Everyone on the internet loves a list, it’s a scientific fact. A look at why the Pittsburgh Penguins have a 3-1 lead and will soon eliminate the Philadelphia Flyers!

#1: Sidney Crosby through four games has been on ice for 8 goals for and 0 goals against at 5v5.

#2: Evgeni Malkin is shooting the puck like this

#3: Matt Murray is back in “playoff form”

#4: Speaking of playoff form, with 1g+6a this series, Jake Guentzel is now up to 28 points in 29 career playoff games (.96 points/game). Far better than his regular season mark of .66. He knows it’s supposed to be HARDER this time of year, right?

#5: Kris Letang has played 68 minutes at 5v5 and has only been on the ice for one goal against at full strength. Somewhat quietly he’s getting back to being in his old form, too.

#6: Because early in the 2012 draft the Flyers thought it better to draft a goalie named Anthony Stolarz in the 2nd round, passing on another goalie from the OHL the Penguins would draft the next round.

Pittsburgh Penguins v Philadelphia Flyers - Game Three Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

#7: Armbar

#8: 38.8% of Crosby’s career playoff games have been multi-point efforts, including 3 out of 4 this series so far.

#9: Because about every word of ya boy’s series preview was true, it was damn true.

I wish I was bold enough to call for the sweep, as disrespectful as it sounds. If “playoff Matt Murray” shows up — you know, the guy who has won an amazing 71% of his 31 career playoff starts with a .928 save percentage and a 21-to-2 difference in “quality starts” vs. “really bad starts” — then it will be elementary. But he’s been shaky this season, and you have to respect the high-end talent, skill, and pride the Flyers have. Still, everything the Flyers do well (score goals, possess skill forwards), the Penguins are better at. Everything the Pens are weak at (defense, PK, goalies), there the Flyers are weaker still. Then there are clear edges for Pittsburgh (power play, coaching). It should be way too much for Philly...this year.

#10: Phil Kessel’s smile

#11: The Pens were 17-20-4 on the road in the regular season but those rules don’t apply to playing in Philadelphia where they’re 2-0 in the playoffs and 4-0 overall.

#12: Armbar

#13: Brian Dumoulin has the confidence of 20 handsome, well-adjusted, self-assured men without the air of obnoxiousness.

#13.1 UPDATE: OH AND HOW COULD I FORGET? Someone (probably Dumoulin who serves as locker room DJ) has selected the 1993 masterpiece “Whoomp, there it is!” by Tag Team as the team’s celebratory post-playoff win song. It doesn’t get any better than that, folks!

#14: Because the backups just better stay ready when you play the Pens

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#1975 Never forget, you guys