Grading the Penguins’ game-day giveaways for the upcoming season

Who doesn’t love free giveaway items? Sure, they may not be “free” as they come with the price of a ticket to the game, and sure, they may be littered with UPMC or Highmark propaganda, but that’s all beside the point. People love free stuff, so let’s talk about what’s on tap that the Penguins will be giving away this season.

October 3, 2019 - Repositionable Schedule

What exactly is a repositionable schedule? Is that a fancy word for magnetic? If so, this isn’t a bad giveaway! A large schedule to put on your refrigerator is always a good thing to have.

Grade: 7/10

October 8, 2019 - Mike Lange Bobblehead

Bobbleheads are always a big hit, and I expect the Mike Lange bobblehead to be no different. Whether it be players, coaches, executives, etc, when bobbleheads are released, those who collect them are always eager to add a new one to their repertoire.

Grade: 9/10

October 10, 2019 - Sidney Crosby Growth Chart (First 3,000 kids ages 12 and under in attendance)

Children only??? What about us adults who want to measure our growth too? Kidding. Kids will love it.

Grade: 6/10

October 16, 2019 - Penguins “Hanson Brothers” Style Glasses

This is a good one! It’s a 70’s theme night as well. With Hanson Brothers style glasses being given out, it’ll be amusing to see how the crowd looks all wearing taped black-rimmed glasses.

Grade: 10/10

October 18, 2019 - Team Calendar

Calendars are great! I’m a busy guy and calendars help me keep organized! But here’s my question. How many players featured in the calendar will no longer be on the team when their month on a page comes around? We know this is bound to happen.

Grade: 7/10

November 16, 2019 - Jersey Tote Bag

Tote bags are good, they’re great for carrying things in. Perhaps you can even use it at the grocery store and be better for the environment. Mother nature thanks you.

Grade: 7/10

November 19, 2019 - Jim Rutherford Bobblehead

Another bobblehead night which will surely be a big hit amongst the bobblehead collectors. My hopes? Personally, a hat trick on bobblehead night leading to hordes of loose Jim Rutherford heads rolling around the ice of the PPG Paints Arena would be a sight to see. Ironically enough, the last time the Penguins and Islanders faced off, the result had people wanting to see heads roll.

Grade: 9/10

November 25, 2019 - Penguins Socks

It may not be as good as a sock monkey hat trick or a hat trick on hat night, but a sock night hat trick would be pretty good. If not, who doesn’t love socks?

Grade: 6/10

December 4, 2019 - Penguins Stress Relieving Coloring Book & Colored Pencil Set

This one is too perfect. What better way to enjoy watching a Penguins team that stresses you out than to color in a stress relieving coloring book? Imagine trying to draw very tight lines of a picture of Jack Johnson in a coloring book while Jack Johnson is the one stressing you out.

Grade: 11/10

December 12, 2019 - Team Yearbook

See same response above regarding the team calendar, except I have no personal use for a yearbook.

Grade: 4/10

January 2, 2020 - Penguins Puzzle Cube

As someone who was fascinated by Rubik’s Cubes in a previous chapter of my life, but also someone who was never able to complete one.....I feel like I’d enjoy another try with a more developed brain than I had at the time of trying. Someone snag me one of these and we can be friends.

Grade: 8/10

January 5, 2020 - EMBRACE-let Set

I don’t know what an EMBRACE-let is and the internet has not been kind in helping me find out!

Grade: 0/10 on its own merits and perhaps my own ignorance (let me know in the comments if you know what it is)

February 18, 2020 - Penguins Phone Stand

Phone stands are good! Modern technology!

Grade: 7/10

March 24, 2020 - Car Coaster Set

Assuming this matches the description, a coaster for drinks....in the car? I guess that’s good. Not quite sure of the practicality or usage, but as a proponent of beverages in the car while driving, I’d try it.

Grade: 5/10

April 2, 2020- Fan Appreciation Night

Shirts off their back night is always fun to see the reactions when people get their player paired up with. Perhaps we can put a new spin on fan appreciation. As a fan i would appreciate the team being good instead of bad!

Grade: 8/10

Agree with me? Disagree with me? What are some of your favorite giveaways listed?